Please consider,
How well do you receive well intentioned constructive or development feedback?
How about positive feedback… I mean, the congratulatory kind… receiving credit where credit is due?
I recently had a conversation with a client who, as they gave an overview to bring me up to date, visibly shrank with humility as they described having had several experiences receiving positive feedback over the past week… knowing the quality and passion with which this person works, and how responsible and fair minded they are when things don’t go so well, it got me thinking – why is this something that so many find challenging?
Far from being a ‘look at me, look at me’ kind of person, many people are unconsciously sabotaging themselves personally and professionally, in the name of humility.
All too often when we receive positive feedback, we are quick with a deflection response like “Oh thanks but, …”
It was a team effort, I didn’t really do that much
It was Chris’s idea, I just did the leg work
Or even worse
I was disappointed as it was supposed to be better/faster/shinier…
We must learn the subtle art of hearing and accepting positive feedback – taking credit where it is due, for both personal and professional reasons… let me explain.
Giving and receiving positive feedback… it is beneficial to our wellbeing and our professional brand..
Personally
Whether we like it or not our self-worth can be influenced by the feedback and value expressed by those around us. Add to this, the impact of any self-talk that only contains depreciating content, and you are inadvertently advocating for others to see you in a lesser light.
While I encourage people to ‘not sweat the small stuff’ I also encourage people to step into and share in the good stuff. If it has been a team effort, then it is absolutely important that they be acknowledged, but in such a way as to also preserve your own contribution.
EG if you have played a key role in a task and received congratulations for your work, instead of “Oh thanks but it was the team who really pulled it together”… Consider “Oh thank you, I was really pleased with the outcome and the team worked really hard to bring it together”
Action - Contribute to your sense of self-worth and the value you bring to your organisation
Professionally
On the face of it, each individual instance may not be a big deal, and you may genuinely be happy for others to share the credit (even if it was mainly you) however do so consciously. In contrast to the “look at me” person you don’t want to be, you can actually negatively impact your professional future by lowering your visibility. Bear in mind that over time each of these instances contribute to the “professional brand” you are creating for yourself. This professional brand will be what sets you up for future promotions, project opportunities and offsets those times when you may not quite achieve such quality outcomes.
Action - Create visibility in a manner that is congruent with your values, and what you want to be known for ie “personal brand”.
Two strategies to develop this skill while balancing humility:
Accept positive feedback with the same level of responsibility you would have when receiving improvement feedback and do so in a manner that is respectful of others and of the reputation you wish to cultivate.
Be grateful to colleagues for support and opportunities and share credit when it is due without diminishing your special achievements or contributions.
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If you would like further information or to arrange some support in building this skill please don’t hesitate to contact me. I look forward to helping you build your success your way.
Yours in success,
Vicki
